Everybody's mind is beautiful and we should embrace differences- a neurodivergent friendly photographer
Why neurodiversity and documentary photography go together - From a candid photographer in Dorset
Fun just being you!
I think it is fair to say that most people do not like being in front of the camera. The demand to 'perform' and to look and be their best in front of a stranger can be, and is, overwhelming. This is particularly so for those who are anxious, introverted and have additional needs.
Some of you may not know, but my back ground is in family support. I went to Portsmouth University as a 'mature student' (hate that terminology) and gained a First Class BA Hons in Early Childhood Studies. Furthermore, I have worked in the Early Years and Health sector for nearly 19 odd years! I started as nursery assistant specialising in supporting children who required additional support and gradually moving on to working with the Health Visiting Team. Most recently, 8 odd years ago, I started with a local charity working in Family Support with children who are potentially going through diagnosis of Autism (ASC) and Attention Deficient, Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). However, my biggest experience of understanding additional needs has been with my own children. My daughter is AuDHD, and my son, had a speech and language delay and is active at best! I am also awaiting assessment for autism and ADHD myself, so I understand first hand some of the challenges that people may face being neurodivergent.
One thing I have learnt from my own experience is that demands create more stress. More stress creates dysregulation, and dysregulation, believe it or not, does not create happy, relaxed fun photographs! Photographs have always been so important to me and I remember on two occasions trying to take my daughter to a studio photoshoot, and both times she cried and could not handle it. On the way back I remember being so upset and disappointed, and knew there must be another way to get the photos I so desperately wanted of her childhood without creating undue stress for either of us.
So how does documentary photography fit with SEN?
From my personal experience with my own children and myself being neurodivergent, that a lot of neurodivergent people are not a fan of being told what to do. To be fair, most children and adults do not either, but for some the need to have a sense of control and autonomy to feel safe is overwhelming. The need for autonomy aligns with documentary photography as it can be completely led by my clients. There is no need for me to direct, or prompt you, we can share the experience of your togetherness and bonding whilst I snap away with my camera. It is rustic, it is raw, and it may not be 'perfect' but to me it is perfect- because it is authentic, it is the real YOU!
Support pre-shoot
Think about how you feel going into a new experience, say a new restaurant, or a holiday or a new job. You may worry about whether the door is a push or a pull, whether you will remember everyone's names, you might want to know what is on the menu and decide before you go, or research things to do on holiday, you might worry about the noises or sights, or whether people are watching and judging you. So it is vital that the location you choose is one in which everyone feels safe and happy. During the pre-shoot discussions I will ask you to think about where you all love to go and explore. Where is the one space everyone is happy; no surprises, no new places or experiences- somewhere the you like to hang out and are comfortable. This is key. If it is a wedding venue and may be a new environment I would encourage you to go and familiarise yourself with the surroundings as many times as you can before the day. If you know where you are going, can visualise it, and relate it as a space you all enjoy going to, everyone will already feel calmer and more co-operative about joining in. For family shoots it can also be a good idea to ask the children where they would like to go- they may even surprise you with a location you had not considered!
Closure to your session I will send across a pre-shoot family/wedding guide which discusses top tips to help things go smoothly. Can you ever remember being made to wear something that you did not like and couldn't relax, maybe a school uniform or party outfit? You either hated the colour, or the style, or it just too uncomfortable and restrictive? This is why it can be a good idea to choose something that is comfortable, especially for children. Yes, it is tempting to put everyone in the nicest dress, or smartest suit, but if are ou are spending half the time feeling overstimulated, rolling around as it is itchy, tight, or annoying, it is not going to be fun for anyone! If you are worried they will choose a dinosaur onsie, princess dress or spiderman costume (although to be honest there is nothing wrong with this!) then you could give a couple of options for them to choose from so they still have a sense of autonomy.
For some children, the more information they have, the more in control they feels so I have created a social story that I can send out. The social story explains with pictures/photos who I am, the location of the shoot, and times and what will happen.
Equally, if you need to know what is going to happen, and need to feel reassured I am happy to book in a phone call/TEAMS call to go over anything and everything.
What happens on the day?
Initially, I just introduce myself, get to know everyone and find out what everyone likes to do. When everyone is feeling a little more relaxed the camera's come out. Firstly, I will just watch the interactions. There are no prompts, I just let you, be you! Often the as the session progresses everyone starts to feel this sense of familiarity and security and everyone relaxes in my presence.
Family Sessions
For family shoots I may use some fun prompt. This may be playing tag, tickle times, or follow the leader; sometimes, I do sense some resistance so I go back to just capturing you authentically which I feel is such a lovely way to photograph connection and bonding in a genuine way!
One thing I have noticed is parents start to stress. They start to increase demands and tell their children to 'just smile' or 'just do this' which often creates more resistance from the children. I know that you want to get some photographs together, I understand how important it is, and I also get that you might start feeling guilty, or shameful, or embarrassed - please don't. I am so used to chasing after children who like to run, to be patient while they regulate or have them refuse to follow a prompt. I really do not mind! I think so many of us see the Instagram life - the perfect photos of families together, but you do not see the hard work that goes into them, the strops and meltdowns, and the never ending energy used running around. I had one family once say they felt the photoshoot was like a work out as they were exhausted following their little active child around. However, they were so surprised when the photos looked like a walk in the park (literally!). If you or your children start to feel a little too overwhelmed we can have a break - this is why I set aside an hour and half for the shoots as it gives time to relax into the session or have some breathing space.
You may not get a photo of you all sitting looking a the camera, but what you will have is a journey mapped out in photographs of you having quality time together, and possible a view into your family you have never seen before, which, in my eyes, is so much more precious.
For Wedding packages
For wedding days, most of the day is documentary; cue me hiding around corners and in bushes, getting those photographs as you carry out your day. I have found that when couples book the full day package and I am around from the morning preparation, everyone is more relaxed. I believe that because I am around from the start of the day, everyone starts to understand the process and how I am really chilled out. I often become one of the wedding party, looking after children and dogs, running errands and guests often think I am long term friends of the couple. I want all of my couples to feel relaxed so I do try and go above and beyond to be welcoming, warm, friendly and understanding.
For the couple photographs I can use prompts to illicit a movement or an action, or I can go 100% documentary and just follow you around. This is completely your choice and there is no pressure. I have had some wedding couples want to try prompting then have asked me to stop, so we have just gone on a walk and I have photographed them chatting to each other around the wedding venue.
In a nutshell
Documentary photography may be a great option for children on the go or for children who need control to feel calm
- Where possible choose a familiar location that you all love being in; beach, park, woods
- Visit the location before the session to familiarise yourself.
- Consider the best time for photographs; choose a time that is good for you/your family - whilst golden hour (the hour before sunset is the best) if this time is not good time we can talk through other options.
- Involve your children in as many aspects of the shoot as you can: Location, clothing, activities - giving options
- Consider your sensory needs. Will a beach be too scratchy, hot? An arcade too noisy and bright?
- Bring sensory aids: ear plugs, fidget toys, a comforter.
- A social story may help to process what is going to happen, when and where
- I will go with your flow- please do not stress about what I am thinking, or if your children are 'not performing'. I certainly will not view it this way.
- Ensure everyone is fed and watered- bring a dirt free snack (not wotsits!!)
- It is ok to take breaks and I actively encourage this so do not be afraid to say you need time alone
- Bring extra comfy clothes in case things get dirty or feel uncomfortable.
- DO NOT stress, because I certainly will not! But communicate how you are feeling so I can reassure you.
- Book in additional phone calls/virtual to run through any anxieties you are facing.
- Just be YOU
- Have fun
